Who’s Who in the Loo?

All surgery and no makeup make Jack a dull girl.”

― Brian Spellman

A hot cause celebre of late seems to be the contentious debate and legal wranglings over Transgenders and public bathrooms. I say “hot” because it is a hotbutton issue, as is anything involving sex, sure to create disgust in some who think it shouldn’t be flaunted in public, and frustration in others who think it’s nobody else’s business telling them how to live.

First off, I must admit I have no understanding of transgender/transsexual; if someone believes they are the opposite sex from the one they were born into, then logically they must be attracted to the sex they physically started out as, and doesn’t it follow that would make them gay? How does altering one’s dress or altering one’s plumbing make any difference in orientation to the same original sex? If there is a difference, I miss the nuance.

And to public bathroom use, if a (not to disparage, but for lack of a better term) “he-she” is psychologically a woman, without sexual interest in other woman but rather interested only in men (like other women – and vice versa, a “she-he” who is attracted to other women and not men), how are they a threat to those of the sex they exibit and identify with?

I mean, if I go into a stall where no one can see, or standing next to me at a urinal is someone who looks male, how do I know if  he was a she but now a he there just to take care of business (and has no interest in me)?  How would a woman know if someone who looks female sitting in the next stall is a woman, or was a he who is now a she (and who has no interest in her)?

Maybe that’s the rub, one can’t be sure, and that’s unnerving, not knowing if the person next to you descreetly exhibiting their whatnot at a urinal where there’s no partition in a men’s room is straight, gay, or fully transexual (and obviously unknowable to women in the lady’s lounge where only lockable, individual stalls are used). 

Best advice is what all fathers tell their sons: keep your eyes to yourself, hurry up and do your business and leave.

And then there is the worry about the children in restrooms. Those who study such things tell us that adult gays, lesbians, and transgenders are no more likely to molest a child than are straight adults, pedaphilia is a whole different issue. And no parent or guardian worth their salt should allow a small child, or a child under the age of knowing “what’s what” about sex and big enough to resist and scream for help, to be allowed to use a public toilet unchaperoned.

Don’t take any of what I’ve written to mean I endorse anything or condemn anyone.

Just trying to puzzle all this out for my ownself, trying to see if I’m overlooking something.

Something that makes it an issue at all.

– Bill




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