When Ya Just Can’t Hold It

“Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.”

― Charles Bukowski

Whenever the grandchildren are over and playing in the backyard, occasionally one of the boys will water the scenery, it’s just too much trouble and time consuming to go into the house to the bathroom. What’s with boys and dogs and trees, anyway? But I digress, back to the quote.

True story:

One night when I was at VaTech, I was in my best buddy’s room. He and I, and his roommate were doing a study-group thing. Whether we were giving more attention to our books or to the rum and cokes we were also studiously engaged in is debatable.

Parenthetical aside: Dorm rooms contained only a bunk bed, two desks, two closets, and a sink. Bathroom facilities were at one end of a very long hallway.

As the late evening became early morning, I had an urgent I’ve-gotta-pee-and-won’t-make-it! thing.

Ever happen to you?

Then…I saw the sink.

Yeah, I did.

You’d have thought I’d committed the unpardonable sin if you could’ve heard how my friend reacted.

He was pissed.

I couldn’t even reassure him it was no big deal, I’d learned in Chem class that pee is sterile.

A few months later he and I were out clubbing in D.C. when he told me he needed to whiz. So did I, so we went and found the john. It was packed and a line at every convenience.  

I guess he couldn’t hold it, as I saw him looking at the sink.

Yeah, he did.

As we walked out I shot him a look.

Without missing a beat, eyes foreward, all he said was, “What? No big deal, it’s sterile!”

I suppose it’s not a big deal to pee in the sink.

As long as it’s someone else’s sink.

– Bill




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