“Conversations are like dances. Two people effortlessly move in step with one another, usually anticipating the other person’s next move. If one of the dancers moves in an unexpected direction, the other typically adapts and builds on the new approach. As with dancing, it is often difficult to tell who is leading and who is following in that the two people are constantly affecting each other. And once the dance begins, it is almost impossible for one person to singly dictate the couple’s movement.”
― James W. Pennebaker
“We humans always seem to take a manipulative posture. No matter what the particulars of the situation, or the subject matter, we prepare ourselves to say whatever we want in order to prevail in the conversation. Each of us seeks to find some way to control and thus to remain on top in the encounter. If we are successful, or our viewpoint prevails, then rather than feel weak, we receive a psychological boost.”
― James Redfield
“A conversation in which the two parties have different beliefs should never begin with the intention of converting the other party to your own beliefs. Every worthwhile conversation’s goal should be to understand the other person’s opinions and help them understand your own.”
― Emily Eskowich
Somehow, Emily’s advice is usually overlooked; it seems that – unless there is a conscious effort to avoid it, sometimes, if not most times – we all succumb to that ego-driven desire to be the Alpha, to dominate, to win, in any discussion.
What fools we are, desiring to teach rather than to be taught, comfortable in our own knowing rather than learning what we don’t know.
Arrogant when we should be humble.
And I know how quilty I am.