“Trust is the base for all relations… It’s very easy to say ‘I don’t trust you’, but the pain these words cause is immense.”
― Faraaz Kazi
And the words “I don’t trust you” don’t have to be verbalized to cause pain, sometimes actions – as they say – speak louder than words.
A government spies on its citizens. Your boss assigns a task you were hired to do to another. A husband or wife secretly reads their spouse’s emails or phone’s call log. Parents put a hidden “location” app on their child’s mobile phone. A mother “helicopters” around her children, supervising their every action and choosing their friends for them.
All examples of “I don’t trust you.”
A government needs to trust the citizens that put it in power, employers need to trust their employees to do what they were hired to do, spouses need to trust each other’s fidelity, parents need to trust their children to be where they say they’ll be and to make good decisions as they’ve been taught to.
Trust is perhaps the most difficult thing to give because it is in our nature to be fearful and distrustful.
Fear that something bad might happen.
Or maybe it has and fear of another incident won’t let go, or it isn’t forgiven and forgotten and one can’t find the trust that it won’t happen again.
One can’t trust if one is afraid.
And if one is afraid, one can’t trust.
It’s a vicious, immensely painful cycle for all involved.
It can only be broken by overcoming fear and having faith that things will work out okay.
In every relationship there has to be more than implied trust – given and taken – it needs to be demonstrated.
By trying to trust a little more and being trustworthy yourself.